• AndrewTalksArse

Why Do I Do This To Myself + Match Preview!

Updated: Mar 8

From the day I saw Maroune Chamakh and Benik Afobe leading the lines for Arsenal FC in 2012, I knew I was destined for mediocrity. The beauty of the red Arsenal kit on top of my love for free-flowing orgasmic soccer made me fall for the Gunners. I’ve played and followed soccer all my life and Arsenal have been there for me. To show me what true fraudulence, disgusting management, and so much pain (Spain without the S) can look like.

I joined this blog to write about my life with Arsenal. Mainly because I realized it wasn’t healthy screaming at a TV because our GQ hand model of a Right back doesn’t know how to take throw-ins. Don’t worry, Bellerin slander will feature in every blog. Join me as we discuss match previews, analysis, and my take on Arsenal FC.


I'll be writing about my weekly Arsenal thoughts, match week roundup, and power rankings, as well as talking with anyone who leaves comments on these posts.


Since you've read this far, may as well give me a follow on Twitter, right? https://twitter.com/AndrewTalksArse


Now, let's get into the game!!


Burnley V. Arsenal. 7:30 am EST, 12:30 pm GMT


Coming off a massive win against Benfica & Leicester, the gunners are flying currently. 11 goals scored in their last 5 games is great compared to the beginning of the season. The resurgence of KT into the left side has allowed us to expand our game incredibly and opens up so many options. Thomas Partey is back to match fitness and Emile Smith Rowe could be available on the bench after a leg injury versus Leicester. With this year's game schedule, it is a fucking miracle that we are basically injury-free going into the home stretch of the season. There is a lot of momentum and positivity surrounding this Arsenal team right now and they have the ability to climb up the table. And it starts with good ole’ bastard Burnley.


The last time we played Burnley, Aubameyang ended his goal drought with a lovely cushioned header into our own net for us to lose 1-0. Xhaka received a red card in the second half for doing an Undertaker chokeslam on Burnley defensive midfielder Ashley Westwood. That was a dark time for Arsenal fans. That was the first time Burnley had ever beaten Arsenal at Emirates Stadium. Ever. With Burnley’s goalie being about 7’8 I don’t know if the goal-scoring form will continue for the Gunners this weekend.


Let's take a look at my predicted XI for the match at the Emirates!




At full strength, the lineup this weekend could go many ways. I chose this lineup for a few reasons.


Manager Mikel Arteta likes his team to hold on to the ball and have great dribblers/playmakers on the pitch when we're playing a lesser opponent. Lesser meaning their negative style of play, I can't belittle them because they fucking beat us last time we played them! So I believe Odegaard and Willian will be in the lineup because they know how to hold onto the ball, dribble past one or two defenders, and play the final pass in behind to get our goal. With his MOTM performance last week, Willian will most likely feature. While I am 110% convinced he has a 'games played' clause in his contract, he does deserve to get at least get 45 minutes. Something I love about Arteta is him not being afraid to change tactics and use all of his substitutions. Our bench is probably going to cause some Football Twitter accounts to get boners because it's going to look really nice. The only players that I see changing from my predicted XI are Partey, Gabriel, and Cedric. All defensive players so we really cannot afford to fuck it up. We saw how well Cedric played compared to the GQ model at right-back so that is honestly the only position I care about tomorrow morning.


Let's hope Arsenal comes away with 3 points this weekend and goes into the first leg of our Europa League fixture with Olympiacos on a high note!


Each week, I will demonstrate in a quick picture who will be onboard the one-way rocket ship to the moon. If you know Arsenal then you know that SOMEONE will fuck up tomorrow. It is guaranteed. So for the previous week's performance against Leicester City, here is who is on board the flight. It's always going to look this shitty. don't expect any photoshop bullshit, Mo and hector don't deserve the time lads.