We need answers behind "Pasta-Gate". Who are the prime suspects?

An unidentified Italian has been found dumped in a New Jersey woods, as police try to find answers and social media viewers pile on the conspiracies. No, this isn't an episode of the Sopranos, but this is a crime that needs to be solved.

Season four, episode three of The Sopranos

Over 500 pounds of pasta have been found near a stream in Old Bridge, New Jersey. A women by the name of Nina Jochnowitz was notified and later discovered hundreds of pounds of spaghetti dumped along a stream in a wooded area. The site of the crime scene is known to house other people's dumplings, including various materials and furniture.

The local Facebook group in Old Bridge has mentioned this has become the talk of the town, and now, it's becoming a national headline. Everyone is trying to solve the "Great Pasta-Gate of 2023".

I unfortunately can't make it to the Jersey this week, so I did my digging online. Who could the prime suspects be?

Nina Jochnowitz - Pasta Discoverer

Whoever smelt it dealt it, am I right? The New York Times cited Jochnowitz as the neighborhood watcher. She ran for local office a few years ago, and stated she has been fielding complaints from fellow residents in the town. She's dealt with cracking down on fireworks and ATVS to trash being left on the curb. No better way to get into the new cycle (and maybe the election cycle?) then to plant some pasta in the woods.

The Writers Guild of America

Currently on strike in regards to wage disputes, maybe this is another way they are drumming up attention? We haven't had a good Italian television series in a minute, so maybe this is their final straw (of pasta) to show that there has been a lot of anti-Italian discrimination on our screens.

The US Government

If you have your tinfoil hats on, this seems like a no-brainer. I'm not a conspiracy guy, but I do believe in coincidences. If the government is trying to do something that we shouldn't know about, the best way to distract our short attention span is to drop a half a ton of pasta in the woods. It makes you think.

Ponte Vecchio Italiana Seafood Grille

Rated number two on Trip Advisor's best Italian restaurants in Old Bridge, they might want to strum up some headlines in a few weeks. They have more positive reviews than Via Sposito, but sit second on the charts. The motive is there...